


loved

by summerandwinter (nineintheafternoon)



Category: Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, i guess?, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 09:29:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12768030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nineintheafternoon/pseuds/summerandwinter
Summary: Sewoon loved Youngmin.Youngmin loved Sewoon.Keyword: loved.





	loved

**Author's Note:**

> this is a mess because i wrote it at 2am and its un-beta-ed, im gonna do some edit when im more awake.

Sewoon loved Youngmin.

Youngmin loved Sewoon. 

But it wasn’t easy.

The two of them officially became a couple as soon as Produce 101 finished. As childish as it could be, but even though they both had feelings for each other, they decided not to do anything about it until the show had ended, because what if only one of them got into the final line up, or even worse, what if they both got the chance to debut as a Wanna One member? They couldn't risk letting their feelings getting in the way of others.

But none of that happened. So they did the thing they had been waiting to do and confronted their feelings. The show ended and they returned to their lives as trainees once again. But this time, they had each other. Sure, they didn’t live in the same shared dorm like how they used to be on the show anymore, but there was no day went by without them continuously texting each other, for the need of having the other’s presence near by. They made a promise to each other: at least 3 texts a day, no matter how busy they were. One in the morning as soon as they woke up, one in the middle of the day as soon as they got a break from practicing, and one right before they went to sleep. None of them broke that promise. But texting didn’t help them from missing each other. So despite the crazy training schedule, they still tried their best to meet each other once a week. It was quick meetings, barely did anything to stop them from going crazy with how much they missed having the other right next to them 24/7. But it was better than nothing, and they always dreaded the moment they had to parted. As insane as it might sound, that period was the time they felt the happiest. 

The texting started to decrease. They tried their best to still keep the promise, but it was difficult, especially when their debuts were coming soon. There were days Sewoon got so busy with the recording (being a perfectionist as he was) that he forgot to send the good night text. There were days Youngmin rushed to the practice room to work on his routine early in the morning that he forgot to send the good morning text. There were days both of them got too focus with their debut preparation that they didn’t touch their phones for hours. But it was fine, they told each other, debut came first. And they were scheduled to promote at the same time for their debuts. So a few missing texts were okay.

It was not. It was not okay when Youngmin forgot it was Sewoon’s debut stage, and accidentally didn’t pick up the phone call of a nervous-wrecked Sewoon who was about to go on stage and wanted to hear his boyfriend’s voice. Youngmin called a few hours later to apologize, Sewoon acted like it was nothing to be apologized for, completely ignored the emptiness his heart felt earlier when the phone kept ringing with no reply. It got better when MXM finally debuted. After months, they finally were able to see each other daily at broadcast stations. The texting began to increase again. Chasted kisses were exchanged and quick waiting room cuddling sessions were held. Everything was fine once again. 

Youngmin’s promotion came to a sudden end because of his overseas schedules. From meeting each other everyday at broadcast stations, it turned into barely get to see each other. Sewoon jokingly told Youngmin that he started to forget how Youngmin looked like during one of their video calls. Youngmin laughed, but there was this indescribable ache in his heart because he knew it wasn’t really a joke. Days of not being able to see each other turned into weeks, then weeks turned into months. They did try. They really did their best to match their schedules so they could find time to see each other. But they could not. A fan brought a Ponyo doll into Youngmin’s fansign without knowing how much the boy wished that doll could turn into a real human right now. 

It was Sewoon who suggested that they should break up during their last call with each other. There was silent on the other end, until Youngmin finally agreed. There was more silent. “It’s for the best” - that sentence were being thrown into their conversation a few times. Their break up was mutual, quick and painless. Both of them could see it coming, but they didn’t expect it to be this soon, they thought they would make it through, but they didn’t. They ended the call promising to still consider the other as close friend. And then hung up. Both of them pretended that they didn’t feel like somebody just ripped their hearts out and repeatedly stabbed it. Both of them pretended that they were strong enough to not cry. They were bad pretenders.

They finally saw each other again, accidentally this time at an award show. It was awkward, because they promised to still be friends, but somehow, sitting at the same table with each other was making them feel like somebody just opened an barely healed wound. Sewoon excused himself first and asked his manager to pick him up, “because I don’t feel well”, and that was not a lie. Wasn’t it weird how things became this way? They were best friends for goodness’s sake. Sewoon used to be someone Youngmin could tell everything too, and Youngmin was someone Sewoon knew would answer his calls at 2AM despite how tired he was. Youngmin looked at Sewoon’s disappearing figure and wanted to scream. Would it be better if he could hate Sewoon right now? Hate him for not being able to keep his words. "You promised me we wouldn't become like this" - Youngmin wanted to scream these exact words to the younger. But he also knew he could not blame Sewoon. 

Sewoon loved Youngmin.

Youngmin loved Sewoon.

Correction,

Loves.

No past tense.

**Author's Note:**

> please dont yell at me, im youngdongpo-deprived. but if you want to yell with me at youngdongpo, you can do so @ohsewoonie.
> 
> also, comment is loved and i need love to live ♡♡♡


End file.
